


show me yours (i'll show you mine)

by Consulted_moriarty



Series: show me yours (i'll show you mine) [1]
Category: BLURRYFACE - Twenty One Pilots (Album), Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Dark, Dark Thoughts, Developing OCD, Drug Use, Dubious Consent, M/M, Manipulation, Self Harm, Starvation, Stockholm Syndrome, Torture, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-05
Updated: 2016-05-17
Packaged: 2018-06-06 15:11:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6759106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Consulted_moriarty/pseuds/Consulted_moriarty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thanks for the kudos and comments. i do see them and i appreciate them beyond belief. if you like this fic, check out some of my others! thanks.</p>
        </blockquote>





	1. air

tyler sleeps a lot more these days. nearly a year out of high school and it's all he can do to find the sun from behind heavy curtains at daybreak. these days, he finds the most energy in the dark of night. his journals are open, left to the grips of dirty clothing in a corner of his room from his last fit that ended with him throwing them. no words. no words. no repetition. he has five pencils sharpened on his desk, aligned in a row with one pencil just a bit lower than the one before it. the points point towards him from where he sits at his desk and he absentmindedly plucks at the two remaining strings of his ukulele. the other two snapped when tyler's temper got the best of him.

violence. he sits brewing in it, hands twitching without sign of terminating anytime soon. his lips quiver, shaky words spilling with alliteration and spontaneous slant rhyming. in his mind, he defines the crime and splatters himself in gore and grime. his smile turns menacing and his heart takes flight and he thinks he'll fuck up the next person who pops in his room to ask if he's doing alright. he tries to surface, clawing back to his skin and only drowning in sin. he's so bad, so bad, and he'll go to hell and there is nothing he can say or do to change his fate. this is something he and his company have come to terms with.

especially his company, his shadow. the dark ink that occupies the corners of his room and spills out from the crack in his closet door. the promise of void. this is hell, tyler thinks, because death was so long ago and life so long before that. a shade of his former self, tyler's interest is lost from the beaten up ukulele so that he might instead pick at the white bandage wound about his forearm.

_it's time,_ the walls quiver. the voice is low, slick and in and out of tyler's thoughts and his environment. short hairs at the back of his neck lift and he shivers, looking over his shoulder. _touch. touch. touch._ the voice chants lowly, the word coming stronger with each review. tyler inhales shakily, blinking hard. it'd be the third time in...how long? two days? one? why were they getting stronger? was he getting weaker?

'bad,' tyler responds, profoundly verbose and yet entirely concise. he shakes his head but doesn't make a move, knowing it'll only get worse until he does. still, though, tyler thinks he better open his window and let in the cool night-time air because it was becoming difficult to breathe. especially with his company.

_then let me._ the voice insists, growing stronger and more solidified. a moving shadow. a darting one. tyler winces and drops from his chair, cramping into the small space under his desk with his knees pulled to his chest. he sleeps like that, giving in when it's his only escape.

tyler does not dream when he is depressed. he thinks it is because his body is too focused on repairing what is wrong to bother with dipping into ideas and subconscious needs. or maybe it has given up, which is something tyler's been considering more and more recently. maybe his subconscious already gave up and was just waiting for his heart to give out. tyler remembers learning in school that heartbreak can cause the organ to fail, especially when it happens over and over and weakens the muscle. maybe he just won't wake up.

but he does. he always does. the red glow of his alarm clock reads a daring four in the morning from his nightstand and tyler peeks out from his hidden spot under the desk. his room is entirely cloaked in darkness, the only glow a red one from the small alarm clock. he swallows, promising himself no one is there, and gets out from his hiding spot. tyler chokes on a sob that he isn't expecting, nearly coughing afterwards. he rubs at his eyes, thinking there's a weight pushing his shoulders down to the floor and gravity is his worst enemy. he shivers and quivers and feels the thud of a bass in his chest, a kick and kick and tyler sits down because his heart really shouldn't pound when he's hardly done anything.

there's a sudden white light, one bright and flooding up to the ceiling from tyler's desk. he whimpers and covers his eyes until the light goes away. when that time comes, tyler turns over and gets back up, shuffling to his desk. he feels around, a little surprised to find his phone there. the battery isn't dead?

_it should be. not like anyone talks to you._ the voice mocks tyler, distant and fragmented. high like microphone feedback. tyler unlocks the device.

'josh?'

just like that, the darkness sucks back into the closet. tyler thinks his own light purifies the room and he turns his phone out and turns slowly, scanning every one of the four walls in his room. nothing, no one. no josh. but no monsters. tyler turns his attention back to the screen.

_'just got back in ohio! we gotta get breakfast. i'll be super jet-lagged so txt in the afternoon. -jish'_

this sob is different. no defeat, no fear. he's hopeful. the sun is rising again, tyler thinks. well, he's not sure. he peeks from behind a heavy curtain and finds the sky lightening. perhaps another hour or two. he wants to bundle up and watch the sun flood his little slice of ohio. but tyler doesn't have that energy yet. the thought is good enough, he thinks. he turns to lie down, clutching his phone to his chest and thinking a minute before shooting josh a response.

_'missed you.'_


	2. earth

at approximately eleven in the morning, tyler wakes. he does not wake groggily like he usually does, swarmed in affliction of death and swaddled by the grips of his shadow. instead, he had left his curtains parted and streams of yellow sunlight pour in. tyler lifts from bed to stand in that light, warming against the sun's glow and watching dust particles swim through the current of light particles. his fingers lift, fingertips prodding specks of dust and sending them spiraling from the path they had set when he disturbed them while getting out of bed.

tyler remembers that he fell asleep after sending a daring message to josh and that sparks a newfound energy, one that drives him back to his nightstand to see if josh had responded with the same.

_'missed you, ty!! -jish'_

tyler beams, his heart thundering. josh didn't forget. josh came back. he runs that thought over and over in his head, his toes tapping against the carpeted ground of his room. he looks down at the off white color, spotting areas that were more pressed down from old furniture arrangements. his desk where his bed now is. bed where a pile of dirty laundry is. tyler makes a face and scoops up an armful of clothes. with some effort, he gets his door open and wanders down his hallway. he turns the corner and heads down the stairs, being careful to watch his step. so suddenly determined to preserve his health feels nice, like he needs to be in a good condition for josh. tyler turns the corner at the bottom of the stairs and gasps when he runs into his father.

'tyler!' the father is surprised. did he still have a son? was this a ghost? that'd explain the shocking look towards the stairs. maybe tyler had glided down them, working as a shade. maybe he was long since alive. but that, of course, was a silly thought. tyler smiles at his father and nods his head in acknowledgement. yes, he is alive. and, tyler thinks, he's far away from his shade. his father steps aside, still apparently bewildered to watch tyler skip on by to the laundry room. uncharacteristically happy. tyler's mother had muttered something about bipolar disorder to his father and that only made tyler upset. there was no disorder, nothing was _wrong_ with him. well, not when he is in a good mood.

around one pm, tyler's phone buzzes its way off his nightstand and onto the imprinted carpet. he nearly leaps from where he's folding laundry at the end of his bed and snatches up the device to see another text from josh.

_'im awake. need to come ovr asap!! -jish'_

tyler informs his mother on his way to the front door, unlocking it for josh. she says that she's putting together a late lunch and it will be ready soon so tyler just sticks around in the kitchen with a glass of orange juice until he hears josh barge in.

that's what really grounds him, what really drags him back to the soil of his hometown. the sound of josh taking shoes off and humming and glancing around the corner into the kitchen.

'josh!' tyler sets his glass down rather recklessly and runs over, nearly tackling his best friend in a massive hug. all the aches and tears from the past two weeks fade away and he almost chokes up to think he had been so close to giving in to his darkness. and this fixed it. just like that.

it was obsessive. borderline insanity. tyler's positive josh knows that it's unhealthy, his dependence on the other, but he seems to put up with it. maybe he enjoys it. tyler hopes he does.

'yo, we gotta get up to your room real quick.' josh mutters into tyler's ear and he pulls back to look at the other. tyler looks for anything wrong but josh is all smiles and sparkly eyes. his gauges have gotten bigger since he's been gone and tyler likes those too, especially the warm wood colored plugs in each.

'okay. lemme grab lunch.' he turns away and grabs one of two plates. josh is right there so tyler doesn't have to grab two. they head up the stairs, tyler careful and watchful of each step even as he is agile and aware that he can take two...maybe even three at a time without a worry. he opens the door for them both, mood dropping when he realizes he hadn't finished putting his clothes away and his journals are still scattered from his outbursts. josh doesn't seem to pay any mind, setting his plate on tyler's desk before digging into the pocket of his jeans.

he produces two tickets that appear to be for a small venue and tyler squints at them. he lowers his own plate to the desk before taking the tickets into hand.

'i don't know this band.' tyler informs, looking at josh. 'who're you goin' with?' he smiles, handing them back.

'you, duh.' josh responds, grinning and putting his tickets back into his pocket. 'tonight. starts at eight. you down?'

tyler's smile almost wavers. he wishes they'd just stay home or go for some late night walk. but tyler's willing, really, to be adaptable.

'eight, sounds good.' tyler agrees somewhat soberly, gaze falling to lunch.

^v

the venue is not as crowded as tyler expects, but he really has no idea who the band is. for being anxious, josh is always the one going on concerts. but this is tyler's first and he's needlessly nervous. he's heard about the building these local concerts are held in and can only think about all the drug stories. tyler knows that josh occasionally smokes a blunt or whatever, he's never pushed to know more. when he had asked his parents about going, they had reminded him he was an adult and capable of making his own decisions. but tyler thinks they were just excited to get him out of the house.

he stands in line with josh, wearing a hoodie with a simple black shirt underneath. he's in jeans and his hands are crammed in his sweater pockets. he honestly has no idea what the attire is supposed to be but josh didn't stop him on the way out the door so he must have the right idea. he looks around and confirms that he does, although maybe people are wearing more black and he sticks out in his gray sweater. tyler's not sure.

he frowns, looking around suddenly. where's josh? oh, catching up with a friend. or someone. tyler watches josh talk to them before holding out his hand, a glimmer of green in his palm before it's replaced with a tiny baggy. tyler pales rather suddenly, turning back forward and moving when the line does at the doors opening. josh returns to his side and tyler clears his throat, wondering how bad of an idea this is going to be. they get in and situated, which is a difficult process that requires a mangling of bodies and multiple curses before he's crammed somewhere on the right side of the room.

josh is close to tyler, facing him instead of forward where pre-show lights flutter different vibrant colors of blue and pink and green. tyler's focus is on josh, who seems to be staring intently at him. josh grins suddenly.

'wanna try some e?' josh offers before putting something small on his own tongue. tyler's eyebrows tug together.

_you'll regret this._ a voice warns, one that is somehow miraculously loud enough to be heard over the audience.

'i'm good.' tyler smiles slowly. 'dunno what that even is.' he adds as an afterthought.

'makes you feel alive,' josh responds somewhat bluntly, making tyler frown. is that how josh felt when he was away from tyler? dead? no, tyler isn't so lucky. 'come on. i got one for you. it's not that cheap.' josh explains, looking down to one tiny tablet in his palm. someone bumps against his back and he shifts ever closer to tyler, having to raise his hand so he didn't lose the small drug.

tyler shakes his head again, laughing nervously.

'you b-bought that for me?' he seems confused, that's because he is.

'yes. you must have been so miserable these past two weeks.' josh infers, free hand cradling tyler's cheek. it'd be romantic, tyler thinks, if they weren't in the middle of an already sweaty crowd. tyler shrugs off his sweater at the thought, using that for a moment to think and distance himself from josh. oh, how miserable those two weeks had been. but josh was back now, why does tyler need more than that? well, he knows he doesn't, but the thought of upsetting josh is enough for him to stick his tongue out.

josh lights up and it makes tyler's heart soar. partly from how gorgeous he is in the colorful lighting and partly because he's about to try drugs for the first time and who knows what it's been laced with and his heart will stop and the shadow will consume him and...

tyler gasps when josh's fingers touch his tongue, a cold tablet placed there.

'put it under your tongue. let it dissolve. it'll taste gross,' josh instructs, reaching into his pocket and producing a small box of mints. 'but some mints'll help the aftertaste.' he nudges tyler's shoulder. 'lighten up, man. you'll feel wonderful. i promise.'

tyler does as instructed, scrunching up his face when the taste is indeed horrific. but it's all for josh. he jumps when he feels a loud bass kick vibrate through his chest, looking to the stage when josh moves out of the way and faces the way tyler is facing. the set starts, or at least tyler thinks it does, he's too busy trying to figure out if he's dying yet or not. it's hard to tell with all the stimulation, both visual and auditory. after a bit, though, josh seems to get more touchy. tyler likes it at first, smiling at josh, but his stomach is starting to get too upset to stick around. he loses the fingers from his waist when he hightails it to the bathroom, panicking when he enters to find every stall locked and a small gathering of larger men waiting to use the toilets next. tyler pales, gasping for air and turning to the sink to lean in and gag. he wishes that something would come up, but is left with their laughs and mocking gagging sounds.

tyler flushes at that, his face red but nearly impossible to note in the dimly lit restroom. tyler puts a hand on his stomach, looking up into the mirror and finding a fully formed figure standing next to him. it's darker, an outline really, but tyler thinks he's seeing the face.

_i told you not to. you didn't listen._ the stranger speaks, notifying tyler of who he is when he does. the low octave cannot be mistaken and he swallows before nervously responding.

'i didn't want him upset.' tyler tries to reason, getting a weird look from the strangers behind him. he ignores them, too high to focus on anything other than the shadow.

_he's not even here. doesn't even know you're gone. should lie on your back and choke on your vomit._ the voice grows dark, making tyler whimper. no, he thinks, not today. he's had a wonderful day and he's not going to die in public in some shitty bathroom. tyler pulls his sweater back overhead despite how he's a sweaty mess. he moves back into the undulating crowd, digging through until he finds josh.

'give me the car keys.' tyler instructs, holding a hand out. but josh doesn't even look his way and he makes a noise of frustration before grabbing josh's arm. 'hey! keys!' tyler yells louder, josh turning slowly and frowning.

'what's up, baby?' he responds, probably yelling but it's hardly a whisper over the ungodly volume.

'keys,' tyler tries again, panic growing. he's not even able to process the pet name and how it makes him feel, adrenaline surging his body. 'god, josh. keys! keys! i'm going to die in here!' the anxiety floods him, a shadow at his back ringing his spine like a soaked shirt. tyler twitches. 'i need out!'

josh kicks into motion at that, moving with tyler and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. tyler yells initially, the contact unwelcome and making him think josh is upset that he's ruined the concert. but then they step outside and josh lets go so tyler can stumble forward with large gasping breaths.

'god. god. god.' tyler shudders, heat flooding his body. 'not right,' he claws at his arms, everything feeling raw and packed full of tingling and burning. alive.

_gonna die!_ the voice is panicking for him, taking his anxiety out of his body and putting it into the shadow's. tyler is fine with that. he lets josh take his hand and move to the car, unlocking the backdoor and pushing tyler in. tyler makes a noise, barely avoiding cracking his head on the frame of the car. he turns towards josh and scoots back when josh falls in and closes the door.

'w-we're not going home?' tyler chokes out, eyes wide and pupils blown. josh frowns and shakes his head, shuddering out of his sweater. tyler does the same after a moment's hesitation, eyes still on josh.

'no, baby. i can't drive.' josh shifts closer and tyler inhales slowly.

'you keep calling me that.' _and it's making me so fucking horny,_ he adds silently. or the voice adds. maybe he's just as turned on, the blurred face that's watching from the window behind josh. tyler gasps, finding air like fire and making him exhale sheer desire. he wants to do...something. he doesn't even know what. but he wants to. anything. josh nods his head in response and leans in, lips sparking against tyler's and he whimpers, melting into josh.

'you feel good?' josh mutters against tyler's lips.

'g-god. yes. fuc-cking...static.' tyler tries to articulate, hands shaking before reaching for josh. he feels so willing, so out of control. this is his best friend and now these dark thoughts flood his mind and he thinks he's going to have a heart attack if they don't do _something._ josh seems to think the same because he kisses tyler again.

'i-i wanna fuck you right here.' josh confesses, smiling and opening his eyes slowly. tyler thinks he's just died, air pulled from his lungs. he feels the hard cushions below his ass and thinks about the cold air just outside the car and how many other cars they're packed in with. what if someone walked by? did he care? what if they didn't have anything? or, more importantly, did tyler even want to do that?

'i-i...' tyler trails off, swallowing and shaking his head. 'm-my mouth is really dry.' he looks around, trying to find a water bottle. josh's hand touches the back of his neck and he looks over, appearing confused.

'you know what'd help that?' josh asks, his other hand rubbing at his own crotch. tyler looks between his eyes and his jeans, shaking his head again. where was josh? who was this? so...demanding?

'don't wanna do that, joshie. i wanna go home.' tyler responds, thinking he's about to have another attack. the blurred face in the window behind josh raises a hand, pressing it to the glass. the dull thud of a bass kick and cheering of a crowd pours in with the touch of that hand against glass, as does the stranger's voice.

_let me help..._

which is the strangest thing tyler's ever heard from the menacing figure. help? really? and it wasn't a trick. he looks back at josh, who appears to be growing disinterested with tyler's waste of time. tyler looks back at the shadow, wondering how bad it could really be if he let the other into the car. he inhales slowly, gathering himself before nodding his head. the figure fills the car, falling in through the fracture of a crack in the window.

tyler gasps in shock, thinking next that he's accidentally inhaled some of the dark. but that's not true, he's inhaled it all. he blinks slowly, wondering where he's gone.

he feels...in part, kind of there.

'jesus, your eyes are really red. you don't have to, ty. it's okay.' josh speaks when eyes flick up. a slow smile spreads and tyler wishes he had caused it. no, he's on the back burner.

_what's your name?_ tyler asks curiously, watching as his body shifts towards josh and starts to unbutton his pants.

_my name's blurryface..._ the voice cooes, lowering their body down and parting tyler's lips. oh, it's really so ungodly arousing to watch. he takes josh in like a pro, something that the voice - blurryface - agrees with. _and i...care what you think..._

tyler's at a loss with that, watching them get josh off. josh's sounds are beautiful, even when everything is muted and so far away. josh finishes unexpectedly and fills their mouth and _blurryface_ jokes about how it's just another nasty aftertaste. tyler almost feels comforted. almost. but he's really at a loss and gives in when exhaustion takes over. everything blacks out and his last thought is that, maybe, he is being pushed from his body.


	3. fire

crusted eyelids fracture to let in the dull light of the bedroom, tyler's cranium violently pounding. his mouth is unbelievably dry, his lips chapped and his jaw sore. a hand shakily lifts to touch at his jaw and his fingers push in to try and sooth the muscles enough to let him open his mouth. when it happens, he lets in a full breath that his stuffy nose can't accomplish. tyler joins the living like he's an alien, trying to figure out his vessel. his mind is fuzzy and dark, his thoughts oddly silent. in fact, everything's quiet. he thinks he's at sea, undulating in the rolling water and watching the approaching storm. the calm before the storm.

there's a gentle companion breathing next to him and tyler glances over. this isn't his bedroom, this is josh's bedroom. and that's josh. josh isn't wearing his shirt and his tattooed arm splays over his own pillow. he's turned into it, breaths deep and indicating his slumber. tyler shifts, intending to turn onto his side but stopping to find that the sheets rub angrily over his chest. his bare chest. he pushes them down, blinking hard. where is his shirt? his legs feel just as exposed and his breathing increases as he continues to push the blankets down.

'holy fuck,' tyler whispers out, paling and shaking. he moves, his body complaining the whole time, until he's standing up. his hips are full of the milky way, patterned in blues and slight yellows. he prods at each hipbone and whimpers when it fucking _hurts._ there's long red lines down his chest and the shaking only gets worse and worse. who touched him? what happened? he frantically looks around, bending down and separating his clothes from josh's. tyler gets his underpants on and a shirt follows, his breathing and noises labored and likely audible enough to wake josh. tyler turns at that, seeing the other hadn't stirred at all.

safe. tyler blinked again and brought the heels of his palms up to rub in at his eyes. why couldn't he remember? he had to back it up, has to start at the beginning. josh missed him too. concerts, a dark venue. drugs. those guys in the bathroom? had they done something? no. tyler remembers the backseat of josh's car but it stops there.

 _i'll show you if you like._ a sudden voice fractures the silence like glass and tyler squints. glass. that's how it got in? the bedroom glass? he glances towards the window, expecting to see a gaping hole. _you fucking idiot. you did drugs with josh._ the pestering continues and tyler twitches, convulses and bends forward.

'GET THE FUCK OUT.' he shrieks, grabbing at his head. how is he here? is this hell? tyler's dull nails dig in at his temples and tears fill his eyes. blurred vision. blurry. blurryface. tyler shakes his head wildly, trying to escape the thoughts. he looks over, spotting a small mirror on josh's wall. his reflection is there, or someone's reflection is. tyler cautiously approaches, finding his eyes bloodshot and dry as hell when the tears fade away. it seems, he thinks, that he's shut up the company for a moment.

but his volume didn't wake josh. tyler's head whips back to the other and he approaches quickly, falling onto his knees on the mattress and crawling towards josh. tyler shakes his shoulder, leaning in.

'josh. josh. get up. someone touched me. josh. what happened?' his shaking grows more violent when josh doesn't respond, his slumber unbelievably deep. tyler doesn't remember josh being this heavy of a sleeper. sure, he's hard to wake when he passed out stoned. but not this. he's _unresponsive._

 _coma, boy. coma boy. josh is your coma boy._ the voice taunts, volume growing like it's coming back into the room. tyler feels his chest rise and fall under his shirt, air never even reaching his lungs past his throat. he pulls josh to turn onto his back, looking down at him and using his long fingers to open josh's eyes. tyler swallows, trying to remember what to do.

'josh. josh.' a wave of violence passes and tyler looks over when his hand pulls back. he watches it like it isn't his hand when his palm slams across josh's cheek. well. that wakes josh. he jerks suddenly and angry eyes look up at tyler. josh shifts and pulls up against the wall, the blankets falling away from his chest and sitting low on his hips. tyler looks down over him and sees similar bruising, watching the forests and seas blossom across josh's hips. 'what's this?' he asks, pointing at josh's hips.

'what the fuck, tyler?' josh responds sharply and tyler looks up with wide eyes. josh has a hand against his cheek and tyler sees an angry red standing out in contrast to the other side of his pale face. 'why did you hit me, dude? what's wrong with you?' he seems hurt. but he seems distracted from the big issue.

'what's wrong with _me?'_ tyler responds, his voice shrill and relentless. 'you wouldn't wake! what's this!' he points at the bruising on josh's hips again before lifting his own shirt and lowering his boxers enough to show the matching damage. 'who hurt us? why can't i remember?'

josh seems to sigh, or else his shoulders just lower along with his hand. josh reaches out, touching at tyler's chest and tyler pulls back slightly, looking down at the hand.

'you don't remember? i guess...that happens sometimes with e.' josh shifts forward and tyler holds still that time. he looks back up to make eye contact. 'your eyes are still so red, tyler. you want some eye drops?' josh's hand moves to cradle the side of tyler's face. tyler sees flashes of red and blue and remembers the pill on his tongue. he pushes josh's hand away.

'what don't i remember? what happened? how did we get home? why aren't we dressed?' he interrogates, feeling slick black prickling up his spine like a rolling cactus. it makes tyler's back arch, his eyes widening. he looks over his shoulder, finding nothing there.

_because i'm already in you, you worthless piece of shit. you're making josh uncomfortable. after ALL MY HARD WORK. ALL MY HARD WORK._

the yelling shuts tyler down, making him shudder and lose control of his muscles. he drops back to the mattress beside josh's legs and slumps in towards his pillow. tyler's breaths are shaky and his eyes are fixed on the bruising nearest his face. but he loses the view when josh moves to lie back beside him. josh brings the covers up, tucking them under both their underarms.

'do you really want to know?' josh whispers and tyler numbly nods his head, his eyes still fixed on the point where the bruising canvas had been. 'we left the club and you gave me head in the back of my car.' josh says steadily, but slowly like tyler's not capable of processing too much too suddenly. tyler's only reaction is watering eyes, that which he tries and fails to blink away. 'we got home after a bit and you were afraid to go to your home high.' there's another pause and tyler fills it with a large shaky inhale. 'so we went to my bedroom...' josh trails off this time, not ending the thought. his exposed hand reaches for tyler's and tyler doesn't fight the touch. 'and you let me fuck you. over and over.'

maybe he'll black out again. or maybe he'll remember. but he's not the person josh fucked over and over.

 _i am. made him beg to touch you. something you'll never be able to replicate. he'll hate you._ the voice chides, low and like a lullaby.

 _'why won't you let me see?'_ tyler thinks this thought, forgetting for a moment that he ought to respond to josh with an opinion about the news. he's focused on the voice, hearing a third party breathing beyond his gasps and josh's soft breaths.

_because you'll get turned on. josh'll laugh at you._

'tyler?' josh asks, finally catching his attention. he surfaces, eyelids falling slowly before his eyes lift to josh's. tyler almost smiles, almost.

'did you enjoy it?' he asks, rather lamely. the voice laughs and he blushes.

'god, yes.' josh responds, nodding his head and shifting in to steal a kiss. 'wish you remembered.' he adds. blurryface seems to cave in at that, releasing what tyler envisions as a heard of violent animals in his head. the racket is unbelievable and he scrambles to remember bits and pieces. reds. shaking hands and white knuckles. no wonder his ass hurt so much. josh's smile. josh's moan. josh, josh, josh. tyler focuses on that more than what blurryface had done with his body. parading around in his skin.

blurryface is right, it does turn tyler on. he bites his lip and hides his face in the pillow for a moment before muttering out, 'i do remember.'

josh leans in to kiss behind tyler's ear, lips trailing down his neck. with each kiss, warmth spreads and fills his body and he relaxes. his breathing evens out, something that blurryface seems to approve of. tyler doesn't know how. but he's sees himself on the inside, like another figure. the red eyes are the most prominent. for helping him, for playing with josh for him, why did he only ever torment tyler?

 _just was so excited for my chew toy to get home!_ blurry shrieks and answer and tyler twitches, tensing again.

 _'you aren't allowed to hurt him!'_ he tries to take a stance, tries to be strong so josh doesn't have to worry. so he doesn't have to defend himself.

_little slut likes it. bet he'd come right now if you wrapped your hands around his neck._

violence is a poison. it spreads through tyler's veins and arteries and slices down the delicate tissue of his lungs. it comes over his mind like pollution, filling with each breath. is it the urge or is it blurryface? he tries to ask that, tries to get an explanation for the urge to hurt. the need to see josh gasping and withing like a little slut. no. no. that's not tyler at all. yet he moves, working like he's got a scalpel in hand and a more trained surgeon is helping him cut into a patient. tyler kisses back, remembering how much more intense it felt under the control of the drug.

still, though, josh's lips are all lilacs and roses and tyler's chapped lips and brittle bones and withering skin. his fingers are dry but josh's neck still feels damp. or maybe just sticky from sweating the night prior. tylers fingers close in, as do his shaking thighs on either side of josh's hips. he squeezes and the kisses cease. at least, they do on josh's end.

'ty-' josh tries to articulate but the word is pinched by a sudden tightening of tyler's hand and he sits up to look down at the other. blurryface is right, it looks fucking gorgeous. josh's back arches and his ribcage smothers the surface of his chest and shifts under his skin as he twitches and squirms. tyler feels josh's budding erection nudging his underpants and he grinds down against the other. josh only moves more at that, his face taking on a hot color and his eyes watering. yet...his hands never lift to grab tyler's wrists. if josh had actually fought him, tyler would have felt guilt. but...nothing.

he is actually enjoying himself! oh, god. tyler slips at that, really losing himself to the dark and innate desires that recently housed his vessel. he snarls, feeling blurryface cheering and on fucking _fire_ in the back of his head.

 _touch! touch! touch!_ he encourages, pushing down on tyler's shoulders and nudging josh's erection towards tyler's ass. he shakes his head, finally letting go of josh's neck. the gasping and coughing is, in his opinion, the best part. the need for air. josh seems to be glazed over, his neck already taking on a red and blue hue. his hands shakily reach for tyler before falling back towards the mattress. tyler doesn't even notice his hand moving again until his palm split against josh's face. the skin, being so dry already, brakes and smears hot red over josh's cheek and josh slams back to earth with the pain. he gasps even harder, his spine pushing into the mattress and flexing the variety of muscles over his chest. tyler shakes his head again, twitching and whining. his palm runs down josh's chest, red smearing and growing when the motion pulls the skin apart from his palm. steady red. _so gorgeous. bleeding for josh and me, aren't you? could gut you like a pig. make you a fucking ANGEL. give you WINGS._ the voice chides, playing devil's advocate and nearly making tyler finish without a single touch.

josh's palm does the job, pushing into tyler's pants and he cries out when he suddenly finishes. he pushes his hips towards josh's hand, grinding through it and shifting between josh's hand and josh's arousal. josh doesn't finish there, even when tyler thinks he probably should have. but he's in the clouds, head tipped back and eyes closed.

 _he's waiting. he's waiting. he's waiting._ tyler's companion tries to get him to focus, finding he's too distracted to do anything on his own. another push comes to his body and he grinds down against josh, earning a pleasing but pained noise.

'wanna finish,' josh comments and tyler finally looks down. he feels driven to insanity by that, urged on by josh to continue being the little shit he's being. his hands move to josh's shoulders and he leans down, grinning.

'i bet you do.' tyler, no, blurryface speaks. tyler's lips are moving and he feels himself slipping.

 _'let me watch. let me fucking watch!'_ tyler fights for ground, finding a middle. he'll let blurryface play but only if he gets to watch what blurryface does to josh. josh whimpers suddenly and blinks hard up at them, appearing confused.

'tyler. let me finish.' josh tries to take a stance.

 _such a power bottom._ blurryface responds to josh internally, making tyler think he's sitting in on a lesson or something. the lack of an answer tells him that blurryface is going to let him stay if he behaves. so he does. quiet, real quiet.

'tyler is OUT right now. can i... _TAKE_ a message?' the grin feels feral and tyler feels his heart-rate increase when josh gives a look of fear. he feels bad, but mostly because he _likes_ seeing josh like that. scared and out of control. just like he had been last night. almost like josh deserves it.

'stop. stop. what the fuck?' josh pushes up at the other and tyler's body sits up but doesn't leave josh's hips. he feels his vessel grinding down and josh shudders before pushing again. 'get off me!' josh tries to yell, unable to produce enough volume before tyler's hand is clasping over josh's mouth. the bloody one. he watches as crimson spreads, coloring josh's lips like lipstick. oh, god. so gorgeous.

'shut the fuck up.' words spill, low and steady. 'you fucked me all last night. you loved it when i sucked you off. don't act like you don't like this.' blurryface speaks like the world is in his hands, like he's aware of his control. tyler's thinking josh'll hit them and that'll be the end of that. but josh seems to give in to the words, falling still and staring up. the whites of his eyes must be the entrance to heaven. the gates. tyler's falling into them and wishing he could claw his way in. make himself the last thing josh sees.

blurryface really likes that idea and moves his free hand.

 _'wow! stop! no. just...a thought. don't...we can't do that!'_ tyler reasons, voice frantic. their hand stops, fingertips at the outside of josh's right eye. _'don't. seriously. come on. he has to see.'_

 _thought my little whore wanted to be the last thing josh sees?_ blurryface cues and tyler feels them moan aloud. josh is still staring, his teeth nibbling in against the split flesh of tyler's palm. was he...nursing himself on the red? the attention tore away from josh's eyes and their hand lifted enough to see stained teeth and _a grin._

blurryface pushes the sheets down and spots josh's twitching erection smearing precum over himself. his bloody hand lowers and acts as a lubricating touch as it suddenly strokes josh. josh shakes and catches his own moan between clenched teeth. his abdomen twitches wildly and their gaze is transfixed on it.

'g-ah! gonna come!' josh warns, hands taking up fistfuls of his bed sheets. tyler watches his hand get pulled away at that, stopping and josh lets out an ungodly noise. 'fuck you.' he snarls, eyes clenched tightly shut.

'you already did!' blurryface responds for them, laughing wildly and leaning down. teeth nip at josh's left nipple, biting and worrying it until the skin breaks. josh manages to turn his head into his pillow so he doesn't cry out at the pain. he's still compliant, tyler notes, because he's no longer shoving him away. so it's okay, right? 'you ought to let me fuck you. make it so you can't walk.' blurryface continues, his voice distorted to tyler's own ears. josh whimpers before responding.

'please! anything! just fucking touch me!' he responds, bringing to tyler's attention that they hadn't been very quiet this whole time. where was josh's family?

 _church, probably. church while their son gets fucked by a demon. how ironic._ blurryface responds, laughing so fucking lowly and tyler shudders. _you should be at church, too. think your parents know where you are?_

 _'god. i gotta call them!'_ tyler responds, making them look towards his pair of pants on the ground. blurryface snaps his attention back to the withering josh under him.

_no! i'm not done yet, asshole. just you watch. watch what i can do to you both._

'tyler. g-od. touch me. please. it hurts.' josh continues, or else he's been ranting the whole time and tyler's just fading back in to listening.

'what hurts?' tyler's the one to ask, this time.

'm-m-my chest.' josh chokes out. 'my tummy. s-o fucking tight.' he gestures to his lower abdomen and tyler looks down. he imagines a tight coil, a bound heat looking for an escape. tyler almost pities josh. he's been there, when the stranger - blurryface - taunts him in church until he's cowering in the bathroom.

 _and exactly how many times did you get off in church? oh, you're going to burn in hell._ blurryface mocks, fingers trailing over josh's chest absentmindedly. in thought.

_'what are you planning?'_

_i don't know. maybe i'll bite a hole out of his tummy. what do you think? he'd probably love it._

_'what! no! no!'_ tyler finally comes back at that, fighting enough to feel himself sink back into his hands. it has to end, it has to. he moves his hand to quickly stroke josh, the other hand holding josh's head to the pillow by his neck. 

'come, come.' tyler instructs, josh finishing partly through the second time he says it. 'let me say it three times!' tyler shrieks suddenly, knowing it's already too late. he shakes his head, panicking. 'come, come, come. come, come, come.' he rambles out, thinking it's not perfect. not a perfect set. but josh is too far gone to even hear or apologize. tyler shakily pulls away, moving to the ground and pulling his jeans on.

'w-where are you going?' josh chokes out, hardly able to look over at tyler. but tyler's sweater is already on and his phone is out. four missed calls from home. he doesn't even respond, leaving josh's bedroom and flying down his stairs three at a time.

'come, come, come.' tyler keeps ranting, running the words in groups of three on his run back home. 'mom!' he shouts when his mother finally picks up her cell phone.

'tyler! where are-'

'i'm on my way right now! just need to change! i slept in at josh's, sorry!'

 _bad boys don't get to choke people and attend church._ blurryface's words linger along behind tyler's run.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the kudos and comments. i do see them and i appreciate them beyond belief. if you like this fic, check out some of my others! thanks.


	4. water

three weeks after the incident where tyler had walked out on josh and josh is handing tyler a blunt. he takes a hit like a pro, like he's been doing it as long as josh, and hands it back. they're not talking, it's not something they do much anymore. both boys are slumped on josh's bed and there's a laptop between them but the horror flick had ended near thirty minutes ago. tyler's still thinking about the murder scene where the killer had finally gotten a grip on the girl, where his knife jabbed her back near ten times and how she had just taken it over and over. he keeps thinking about how there was just a tiny smile on her lips during. tyler wonders about how josh would look but then he realizes he's not the one thinking those horrible thoughts.

 _hello._ blurryface greets tyler at that, like he's finally been spotted in the room and now he's just speaking up. tyler has come to notice that blurryface is calmer when they smoke a joint, he wonders if it's because neither of them can really move his body quick enough to strangle or fuck josh. both of which hadn't happened since that one fleeting incident. no one's talking about it. josh still goes out to shows, tyler knows that. he probably still gets high and still gets someone to blow him. it's not tyler and that's the worst part. but he doesn't say anything, he just lets the drug pass between them until he's thick in a haze.

josh's parents are out of town. actually, his whole family is. they left him behind because he insisted he couldn't get time off work. what his family doesn't know is he hasn't been to work since he got fired near a week ago. tyler found that out when he crept into josh's house to crash on his bed (trying to sober up before going home) and found josh jacking off. they didn't talk about that, either. but tyler wishes he had stayed in the room instead of apologizing and leaving. he wishes it was all different, wishes josh wasn't so far away on the bed and keeping his gaze forward. tyler's the one who keeps looking over, keeps trailing eyes over josh's thin frame and how his shirt isn't sitting right on his torso and how he keeps scratching at his arm.

 _he's going to break the skin, soon._ blurryface interjects yet again, bringing tyler's attention to the red spot forming at the crook of josh's elbow. he's got the joint caught between his thumb and first finger of the hand not scratching. tyler watches the skin curl and peel, red spots slowly forming. he wonders if josh is getting that skin condition where he's itchy and his skin is dry. he wonders if josh is doing meth and digging for beetles. he says nothing. josh looks checked out, his eyes glazed over and his neck completely healed from the massive bruising that had blossomed over tyler's choking grip formed all those weeks ago. tyler misses that, too. _let's bring the bruises back,_ blurryface suggests, the words a near coo to get tyler to do something. anything. but he doesn't move, doesn't even respond.

tyler falls asleep like that, slouched against the headboard with his chin resting on his chest. he doesn't dream when he's high, just blacks out and prays for morning to come when he can get high all over again. he's probably the family disappointment, his parents probably know. blurryface does and his chiding words are parental disappointment in their own way. tyler would have slept until morning, were it not for feeling himself being moved. he figures that josh is pulling him into a more reclined position. he feels his feet moving and shifting together before wondering why his ankles hurt. that surfaces him just a bit, his face scrunching before relaxing when the movements stop. but tyler's eyes open when his hands are going above his head and a metal click brings him to consciousness.

he still feels dazed and he blinks hard before looking up at what josh is doing above his head. his wrists are in the air by josh's doing, a pair of handcuffs weaved through a metal bar on the bed frame and each cuff clasped _tight_ around each wrist. tyler's heart finds a new pace, his mind struggling to clear the high so he can think clearly. all he manages, though, is a weak word of protest.

'josh...?' tyler has more to say, certainly more to ask. but he feels hazy and sleepy. he notices that he's still dressed so there's not really an issue of that. josh leans down and kisses tyler's lips, which soothe some of his worries of the past week or two.

'since you're so insistent upon thinking you can come and go whenever,' josh begins, trailing off and tugging at the cuffs. tyler makes a small noise, his eyebrows furrowing. he tries to move his feet, finding that they had been clenched together by something that was painful and cutting into skin.

'josh.' tyler's word is stronger now, his eyes set on the other and wide.

'no. i get a say now,' josh responds, shaking his head and rubbing a hand over tyler's chest. tyler squirms.

'take these off.' he complains, his volume growing. josh seems to disapprove of that when he reaches for the nightstand. a bandana comes back and he grabs either end of it. tyler pieces together what's happening next. 'josh! josh, no! sto-' he's cut off when the thick part of the bandana collects between his rows of teeth and his cheeks strain at the tightness of which josh ties it behind the back of his head.

'shut. up.' josh gets up from the bed, walking out of the room and closing the door behind him.

\---

the first time tyler cries in two weeks is when he's left alone and forced to stare at the alarm clock on josh's bedside. he soaks up each minute and twitches when he hears the hallway creak outside the door. he prays for josh to come back. something, anything. he'll talk to anyone, really. but that's not a sentiment blurryface responds to. tyler thinks it must be the shock. he tries to find where josh has put the laptop but it hurts to lift his head. he's still high as a kite and his head spins. just a bad trip. just a bad trip.

tyler cries himself back to sleep, thinking it'll all be better in the morning when josh let's his anger go about the whole thing. tyler tries not to take his guilt into the sleeping world but his dreamless slumber is spent feeling like a piece of shit. when he does wake in the morning, that which is both announced by the time on the alarm clock and the sunlight peeking in between josh's black curtains, tyler really starts to panic. he tries to scream through the bandana, his dry mouth making him periodically cough and choke. he'll do anything for water, which is something he's felt with waking up after smoking all night. but this is different. he's had cloth soaking up his spit all night and he's really, really thirsty. he's hungry, too. but that's not new because he's always been a hungry boy.

when the wave of panic passes and he settles back into his condition, it's almost noon. tyler is left absorbing josh's room, staring down the posters on his wall and wondering if he's ever had any pets. he seems like a fish kind of boy, one who'd have a large aquarium in the corner with a warm light that'd be on at nighttime. he probably would be scared of the dark, too. but that's not josh. josh's the one who tied him up and left him. is josh in the house? tyler strains to hear, finding that there's nothing. josh is probably out getting high, which makes him panic again. he thinks he's been left to die, and that's when it really settles in.

tyler thrashes, unaware of how the tight zip tie cuts into both his ankles and makes him bleed against josh's sheets. his wrists are turning weird colors and he can barely feel his fingers. tyler tries to turn over, only to have his shoulders scream in protest when the muscles pull. he slumps back in defeat, finding another round of tears threatening to break from his eyes.

there's a sound, a creak of the stairs in the distance, and tyler tenses. he goes quiet, hearing footsteps padding down the hall. the door clicks and opens slowly, josh walking in with eyes fixed on tyler. tyler's not looking back at josh's face, though. he's staring at the water in josh's hands. tyler's gasping, little noises breaking through the makeshift gag in his mouth. josh sits at the edge of the bed and puts the water on the nightstand, turning and looking at tyler. he reaches over, a large palm pressing through tyler's short hair. tyler gets louder at that, thrashing again.

josh turns and looks towards tyler's ankles, seeing them bleeding against his sheets. he clicks his tongue and gets up, heading out of the room. tyler starts to hyperventilate, looking from the glass of water on the nightstand to josh's back as he's leaving.

'n-!' tyler tries to protest, sobbing out no, no, no. but josh is back a moment later with a first aid kit and tyler's exhaustion from his panic makes him fall limp. he watches through moist eyes as josh cuts the zip tie between his ankles. tyler moves at that, feet kicking at josh. josh pulls back, eyes wide and full of an anger tyler doesn't think he's ever seen. it's actually horrifying. his feet slow before stopping, showing a sign of defeat that josh moves in on. he grabs alcohol wipes, rubbing at the broken skin and making tyler whimper. josh bandages both ankles, wrapping them securely before closing the kit and putting it out of reach. he moves towards tyler's upper body and tyler tries to sink into the mattress.

'are your hands asleep?' josh inquires, a hand reaching up and fingers pinching at tyler's hand. tyler nods his head, looking up and wishing he could feel josh's hands. 'if i remove the handcuffs and sit you up, are you going to make this harder than it needs to be?' josh asks, looking down at tyler's sweaty and tear stained face.

tyler mulls it over for a moment, really wanting to use the opportunity to escape. but he's got a feeling his feet wouldn't take him too far. so he shakes his head, no, and josh digs a key out of the pocket of his jeans. the handcuffs come off of tyler's wrists and his arms hang lose over the pillow at his head before josh helps him sit up and shift back. tyler winces and makes a face at josh when the restrains are put back on, his hands pulled behind his back and crushed between his body and the cold frame of the bed. 

josh gently unties the gag, pulling it from tyler's dry lips and setting it on the nightstand.

'w-' tyler tries to speak too soon, his dry mouth refusing to function and making him cough.

'do you want some water?' josh asks, his tone firm and level. tyler nods. his wide eyes fixate on the glass of water josh provides, seeing it come to his lips before he gulps down the liquid eagerly. the water hits his empty stomach and he can feel the sensation of it moving around, relief flooding his bones. josh takes the glass away before tyler's downed it all and he whines in protest.

'josh, josh. i really want more water,' tyler tries to explain, eyes unable to leave the glass. he licks his cracked lips, his head beginning to pound from finally being able to sit up. feeling is coming back to his hands and he clenches them into fists when the sensation burns.

'you're going to have to use the restroom,' josh responds, eyes fixed on tyler. 'but i'm not done with you sitting here until you've learned your lesson. you understand?'

tyler looks up, confusion flooding his face.

'i-this...i don't...' he tries to formulate a sentence, unable to ask all his questions in one big one. oh, right, 'why?'

'why what?' josh responds, a little bite in his tone. he shifts up onto the bed, sitting on his knees. his hands run up tyler's chest and tyler shivers at the contact, gasping when josh's hands close around his neck.

'n-!' tyler tries to stop the other, his word cut off when josh squeezes insanely tight. tyler's eyes almost immediately roll back into his head and he tries to thrash before falling limp to josh's attack. his hands loosen when tyler's vision darkens but tyler is unable to come back into focus. he's glazed over and barely breathing, his body trembling as josh leans in and brushes lips over his ear.

'what i am going to do now is leave you here. just like you did to me.' he gets up from the bed and tyler's gaze barely falls along as his head had fallen forward. he tries to make a noise but it only catches in his constricted throat. the door clicks closed and tyler feels panic settling in. he tries to scream, to do something, but he's really paralyzed. he wonders if his family will wonder why he's been gone so long. maybe his mom would stop by.

what if josh has been calling them, though? telling them tyler's just hanging out and everything's fine. tyler's not sure his parents would believe that but he doesn't really know.

\---

the water has gone right through tyler and his legs are crossed at his thighs. he's breathing is labored and he's trying to do all he can to keep together. it's almost dinnertime, although he's figured out by now that josh will not be stopping in to feed him. tyler feels weak, his stomach growling occasionally and his limbs sore. all his focus has gone into not losing his bladder on josh's bed and his cheeks are warm. he can speak now but he's been too afraid of the gag returning. tyler's mostly been talking to himself, whispering tiny encouragements and sane thoughts.

'everything is fine,' has been his favorite one. his focus has gone to the bed sheets, his mind bothered by how the bed isn't made up and how josh never makes his bed the right way. 'everything is fine,' tyler repeats, looking over at the wall. he wonders if he can break out of his arm sockets and slip under the bed, maybe fall into hiding. he feels embarrassed and ashamed, his body twitching and his bladder pressed in the need to release. 'everything is fine,' tyler repeats a final time.

 _scream. make him come get you._ blurryface suddenly speaks, his voice strong and flooding the room. tyler looks around, wondering if his company is there. no, no. all in his head. weird that blurryface is stronger when he is weaker.

'he'll gag me again,' tyler reasons aloud, his voice hushed and concerned. or else defeated.

 _so what? you're about to piss the bed. **his** bed. fucking pathetic. _blurryface continues.

'you...really...should not be p-utting me down...at at time like this.' tyler responds, taking a stand because, really, there's not much blurryface can do that isn't already the worst thing tyler is experiencing.

the door moves and tyler looks over, eyes wide and heart pounding. he was heard, josh is coming to gag him. tyler's lips are pressed in a thin line and his heart pounds wildly, his eyes between the approaching figure and the dry gag on the nightstand.

'i-i'm sorry. i didn't mean to-to be loud,' tyler tries to apologize, his eyes watering. but josh doesn't go for the gag. in fact, he seems a little confused over what tyler is apologizing for. that makes tyler shut up, his eyes just on josh. no gag. no gag. blurryface is quiet, analyzing what is happening and tyler's almost thankful when he feels a plan concocting in his head. josh pushes a hand into his pocket, retrieving a key and leaning over to pull tyler forward so he can get at the handcuffs. tyler gasps, looking over his shoulder as each one is undone.

he pulls his hands in front of himself, rubbing at the bruising and whimpering. josh's hand hooks around the bicep of his left arm and he yanks, tyler almost immediately falling off the bed. josh saves him, though, and keeps him on his feet. tyler wavers dangerously, his body threatening collapse. but he manages to keep it together on their way to the bathroom. he's keeled forward a bit, his body screaming to release and he doesn't hesitate to go in front of josh when he's pushed to the toilet.

tyler feels his cheeks burning at the sound and he knows josh is watching his back. he thinks now is a good time to do something, tuck himself away and whip around with a punch. but tyler behaves, even against blurryface's will, and complies when josh tells him to flush and wash his hands. tyler can feel the cold water over his bruising wrists and he keeps his hands under the water a moment too long before josh is offering a hand towel and telling him to hurry up.

when tyler does fight, it's on the walk back to bed. he shakes his head and stops, turning to look at josh.

'i-i can't. josh, i can't do this. this isn't fair.' tyler reasons, his thoughts and fighting points all gathered together for his one moment before the judge. 'listen to me, please.' he holds his hands up in a sort of surrender, eyes pleading. josh is reaching for him but pauses, his jaw setting. he doesn't speak, which tells tyler that he better. 'i'm...i'm really sorry, josh. i shouldn't have left. i-you know how i panic. i wish you would h-ave told me something was wrong.' tyler takes the smallest of steps forward, trying to use his affectionate tone to get on josh's better side. 'but this is too far. you're torturing me.'

josh does not like that ending. tyler knows he doesn't because his physique changes and his hands clench at his sides. tyler feels himself lose air and he gasps before trying to apologize for saying that but josh shoves at his chest, hard, and he stumbles back towards the bed.

'josh!' tyler tries again, screaming out when josh grabs and spins him before throwing him down on the bed. tyler scrambles to get up, josh's hand grabbing the back of his neck and shoving his face into the sheets. he squirms and gasps, unable to breathe with his face in the thick plaid blanket adorning the bottom of josh's bed. tyler feels his pants being tugged down and he tries to scream, face flushing with color when josh's dry fingers jab in at him. tyler sobs wildly, jerking around but unable to reach josh with his hands. his legs can't do much either, but he knows josh's shin is down on the back of his thighs.

the fight is leaving tyler when he really can't get any air and he slumps, relaxing and falling prey to the attack. josh's hand eases up on the back of his neck and he's able to turn his head, soft gasps leaving his mouth as he's opened up and used like a toy. he can't protest, his vocal chords paralyzed and his heart thrumming dangerously in his chest. he feels josh push in and makes a soft noise, remembering when blurryface had been the one to ride josh all night. this wasn't that. but, after the initial pain that continued to leak tears from tyler's eyes, he started to feel good at he was at least being touched. especially by josh.

after three weeks of nothing, he was starting to enjoy it. tyler made another small noise, hands pressing into sheets and ass pushing back towards josh. he hears the other gasp and moan at that and the hand is completely lost from his neck. instead, he feels josh's hands hot on his shoulder blades and each thrust hurts more than the last one but tyler's rutting into the sheets when he's hard.

'j-osh,' he whispers (or moans) out. his eyes close, his body finding a rhythm between the bed and the other. he's completely just being used and he feels a hot wetness falling down between his legs and pooling at the front of the bed where his pants hang low on his erection. josh's nails dig into his back in response and he whines, letting out another sob when the balance tips back into just being painful. he feels josh getting closer when the thrusts are erratic and tyler shakes his head slightly. all he can think about is his growling stomach and that seems to be something josh hears because he slows down.

'you hungry, baby?' josh whispers out and tyler nods his head very, very slowly. he already doesn't like where this is going, positive josh's concern would not top his attack. he pulls out and tyler shudders with a small cry, his body already in unimaginable amounts of pain. josh pulls at the longer hair on the top of tyler's head and tyler's back arches when he's pulled up against the normal curve of his spine. he scrambles to use his hands to get up in time without something being seriously injured, only to lose that goal when josh makes him fall off the bed onto his back. tyler yelps when his bare ass hits the ground and his hands scramble to tug his blood soaked jeans back up over his ass. he looks up at josh, seeing the other stroke himself with a small grin.

tyler moves slowly when he gets the idea, turning a bit and getting to his knees. he looks up at josh, jaw relaxing and lips parting. open mouth, wide eyes. josh seems to like what he's seeing and his hand speeds up, his cock close to tyler's lips. he pushes in when he's about to finish, filling tyler's mouth in one go and hitting the back of his throat. tyler initially gags and he's positive blurryface steps up to make him relax when a hot and sticky sensation fills the back of his throat.

it's fucking sick and tyler swallows the other down every bit of the way. like he needs it. he feels so disgusting when his stomach actually feels a bit better and he wipes at his mouth with the back of his head when josh pulls out and tucks himself away. tyler pulls his hand back and sees a smear of red, aware of where it has come from. he looks up at josh, tongue running over his own lips and cleaning what remained from the attack. josh kneels down, hand palming tyler and he realizes then that he's still hard. tyler gasps and immediately thrusts up into josh's hand, nearly smiling when the other unbuttons his pants and pulls his cock out to stroke. he's not slow, either, not teasing tyler at all. so tyler finishes almost right away with a choked moan and heavy eyes. he doesn't realize he's finished into josh's palm until the other tells him to open his eyes.

he looks down at the mess in josh's hand before back up at his eyes. once was enough, tyler thinks, before paling. he's already been humiliated and the taste is lingering and making him feel sick to his stomach.

'go on,' josh urges, his free hand coming to the back of tyler's head. a warning. tyler realizes he doesn't have a choice so he bends forward and uses his tongue to clean up josh's hand. he whimpers at the taste, shuddering and gagging when he thinks he can't do it. 'i'm getting impatient.' josh continues, voice turning bitter. tyler looks up through his eyelashes at the other, jaw sore and ass throbbing. he sticks his tongue out, working it over josh's hand and literally eating from it until there's nothing left. josh makes a content noise, hand easing up on the back of tyler's head before moving so his thumb could rub over tyler's cheekbone.

tears fall at that, the embarrassment of everything making tyler slump to the ground in a soft sobbing mess. josh shakes his head, tyler watches it, before reaching and pulling him up from the ground. tyler's noises get louder at that, the sobbing getting out of hand as he's pulled into josh's lap and josh wraps arms around him. tyler's hand cling to josh's shirt and he hides his face in the crook of josh's neck, sobbing and hyperventilating in a sort of fear. this goes on for awhile, tyler thinks, because he eventually runs out of tears to lose and his cries turn into croaks and groans. josh's patience pulls through and he only rubs tyler's back the whole time. when it's finally over, he speaks.

'one more night, tyler. one more night.' he announces, turning and kissing tyler's head. 'are you going to behave for me?' he asks, making tyler look up with bloodshot eyes. tyler swallows before responding in a small voice.

'yes.'

josh moves tyler from his lap, standing up and helping tyler to his feet. he helps tyler fall into bed, pulling his pants off and throwing them aside. josh gets tyler on his side, pushing him towards the wall and pulling the blankets up to him. he shifts the cuffs down the row of metal bars until he reaches the one nearest the wall, hooking one cuff to the bar and the other to tyler's wrist.

'i wouldn't run.' tyler whispers, watching this happen.

'that's not what i am worried about,' josh responds evenly, bending down and pecking tyler's forehead. 'you'll try to kill me in my sleep, i know you will.'

tyler wouldn't but blurryface sure as hell was responding that he would. josh must know that. tyler thinks he has to.

'more water?' josh asks, already grabbing the glass. tyler nods and lets josh lift his head before guiding the cup to his lips. he finishes the glass before slumping back.

'th-thank you.' tyler whispers, eyes already heavy. he thinks maybe he's thanking josh for more than the water. the attention has been monumental, even as it has been painful.

\---

when tyler wakes, he's beyond hungry. it's not a game anymore, he's in pain and obscenely weak. tyler almost immediately chokes up and cries out, his broken voice asking for josh. a glance around the room tells him that josh is nowhere in sight and tyler's hand rubs down his own chest in trying to promise himself that he's alive.

he feels sick, prepared to throw up in josh's bed and bleed out. there's blood for sure. tyler twists and looks down at the sheets he's been sleeping on and he starts to hope josh will not throw a fit over the stain tyler has caused. he slumps back down, entire body throbbing and head pounding.

'jo _shh,_ ' tyler whines out, blinking hard and trying to raise his volume. 'please.' he adds in a softer tone, looking towards the ceiling like someone could reach down and make it all better. an hour or so passes and tyler almost falls unconscious again, save for his need and worry for josh. josh. his josh. he needs josh. tyler chews his lip, trying to pinch at himself with a free hand to stay awake. but that only arouses him and his hand wanders south to palm at himself through his underpants. he thinks about how josh took control the night before and that is enough to make tyler pull himself free and stroke leisurely.

that's about the time that he hears feet padding down the hall and the door opens. tyler looks over, not halting his movements. josh is in the doorway, looking at tyler. tyler moans in response, taking a firmer grip of himself when josh crosses his arms over his chest and watches. tyler's eyes fall heavy when he realizes josh isn't going anywhere and he moans again. he arches his back, turning his head back to facing the ceiling and coming in spurts over his own shirt. josh animates at that, crawling into the bed after closing the door and cupping tyler's cheek. he kisses tyler's lips, actually smiling afterwards. it's weird, tyler thinks, but he smiles back anyways.

'i love you,' josh whispers, making tyler's heart soar. not pound. no pain.

'i love you,' tyler whispers back, watching josh retrieve the key from his pants that were now a few days worn in. he reaches up and unlocks tyler's side of the handcuffs and tyler cradles his hand to his chest. he turns into josh, curling close. 'thought you'd never come back,' tyler whispers softly before smiling when arms wrapped securely around him.

'now you know how i felt,' josh responds softly and into tyler's hair before placing a kiss.

'you won't make me go home, will you?' tyler wonders aloud after a minute of silence, earning a soft chuckle from josh.

'no. this is your home. i am your home.' he responds strongly, making tyler shiver.

'you are my home,' tyler repeats.


End file.
